One Year Reflection

Brand New With Her Halter Monitor

A year ago yesterday, I was anxiously waiting to see if my baby girl was going to arrive. The 13th of December was her due date and all I could think about was meeting this precious baby girl. When the 13th drew to a close, I waited through the 14th. And then the 15th. And then I started eating pizza because my mom ate pizza the day I was born. And still she did not come. And then the 16th. On the 18th I met with my midwife and she determined that I wasn't even far enough along to do a "stretch and sweep". Those mere words make me want to gag. On that Saturday, we decided that we would go ahead with an induction on the 20th so that we could finally meet our darling angel. So on the evening of the 18th, I bounced on a exercise gym ball in hopes that it would encourage my little girl to descend. We wanted her to come naturally but she had other plans. On the 19th, I made sure every little thing was in its place. I finished any last minute projects I had going. I walked and walked and walked my poor swollen feet that had grown a shoe size and up in width in hopes that again, our little girl would descend. But she decided to wait. On the evening of the 19th, I lay on my bed and listened to soothing music, wrote a letter to our daughter who I would meet the following day and spent a significant amount of time in prayer. On the night of the 19th, I barely slept a wink. I tried so hard knowing that I would go through the most physically demanding thing I had ever experienced in just a few short hours, but sleep evaded me. On the morning of the 20th, I was up before 6 am to call the hospital to see if there was space for us for the induction. They happily informed that yes, indeed there was room. And in that excited moment on the phone with a complete stranger, I saw myself in the mirror smile on the biggest smile because I knew that I would be meeting my daughter that day.

One Month Old

The following few days were a blur. I spent much more time in the hospital than ever anticipated. The thought of a normal delivery were out the window when a c-section was determined to be the safest course of delivery for our babe. It was thought that our darling daughter was going to be a giant sized baby but in fact she had flipped inside the womb and was in fact, a breech baby. I had been doing back labor, naturally, for a few hours and there was no way our baby was coming without the aid of a surgeon. My sweet husband knew that he would not make it in the operating room and with tears said he couldn't go in. I was strong in that moment and knew that he couldn't do it. It wasn't a matter of wouldn't - it was couldn't. With my midwife by my side we headed into the operating room. What seemed like an eternity later brought the most joyous noise ever. A cry. I almost didn't realize it at first. But my midwife, Meghan, said "Do you hear that? It's your daughter." And it was. And my breath caught in my throat. She was hear. And she was small. She wasn't a giant baby. She was less than eight pounds. While the doctors and nurses were taking bets on how big she would be, she threw them all with her tiny body. And she made them all laugh when she peed three times as they were trying to swaddle her. That's my girl. Very healthy movements.

Two Months Old

I spent three nights and four days in the hospital. One our second day in the hospital, my precious child turned a shade of blueish purple that literally would make your blood turn cold. She spent the next 12 hours in the NICU for observation. My heart broke as I saw her tiny little body in her "Giraffe" warmer. This precious person that I barely new but yet was my constant companion for 41 weeks. My heart almost stopped beating it hurt so much. When they placed her in my arms to nurse her we struggled so hard. Both inexperienced, both new, both not knowing the how even though I had been taught it in a class. We tried little tubes and tiny bottles of infant formula and we prayed and prayed that she would latch. And through tears she eventually did. Nursing was a battle that would be an intense struggle for two weeks until we learned a technique that made everything click. And now a year later, as this nursing relationship draws to a close, I sit back and marvel at how far we came.

Three Months Old

We finally left the hospital on the 23rd. A tiny halter monitor strapped to my tiny little baby. It would monitor the hole in her heart for 24 hours. On Christmas Eve we would return the monitor. It was determined that there was nothing significant in the report but she would be under observation for a year. Christmas Eve I gave my girl my all even though I was barely making it myself. Somehow I pulled myself together for a Christmas Eve bash at our home - well, my in laws home - but our temporary dwelling as our house was being renovated. A year later we are still here, still waiting for the house to be finished. On Christmas Eve, I struggled to get my daughter to latch. For a couple of hours we tried. And we were failing. Nothing was working. Nothing. And at 1 am I sobbed as I handed my precious daughter to my mother-in-law and said "I don't know what to do." I finally broke. The whirl and emotion of the past few days had finally hit me like a ton of bricks and as I desperately tried to feed my child, and realized that I couldn't, I broke. I called my midwife in tears and could barely speak I was crying so hard. She offered to come to the house to help me  but said I could also supplement with formula. And we did. And my sweet baby was happy. And it was that night that my mother-in-law and sister-in-laws formed "The Night Shift".

Four Months Old

I was blessed to marry into a family of night owls. I am not one. Shane really isn't one either but it's not uncommon for cleaning, or eating, or TV watching, or web surfing, or heart felt talks to happen midnight and beyond. And that heart breaking Christmas Eve, The Night Shift was born. One of my husband's sisters suffers from insomnia so it was not uncommon to find her awake at 6 am. Or 7 am - having not slept the night before. And those desperate nights that I could not get my mixed-up daughter to sleep, the Night Shift would take her and love her and hold her and bond with her and eventually put her to sleep. They would creep into our room, late at night, and put her to bed. And she would sleep late into the morning. And it was sanity for me. It was what got me through. And one day, I will return that favor. It's a gift that I wish I could give all moms. It truly was how I got through.

Five Months Old

Christmas Day was another overwhelming day. Not as overwhelming as the day before but it was emotional, non-the-less. We received a card with a check inside for $2000 from an amazing family friend. We were blessed with great Christmas gifts. And I spent most of the day with my precious daughter laying on my chest, skin-to-skin, in our bed with "Beauty and the Beast" playing on repeat in the background. We slept. We bonded. We loved one another.

Six Months Old

And day by day, it got easier. We still had many challenges. The day after Christmas we were back into the hospital because Aubrey was turning blue again. After some testing, it was determined that she suffered from "acrosynosis" a condition in which ones extremities turn blue. At least we had answers. A few months later we were back at the hospital for a sonogram on our daughter's head because she had a hamangioma that grew out of nowhere. They wanted to make sure that it wasn't growing down into her brain. And it wasn't. Thank God.

Seven Months Old

In six short days, my sweet girl will turn a year old. It's hard to believe that we will be turning a page of her life. It's bittersweet. I know we will be saying goodbye to some wonderful times and moments and that I know I will desperately miss snuggling her as a baby. It brings tears to my eyes to think of how big she is getting. But at the same time, I am excited for the next year. What will it hold? Soon she will be walking. And running. And saying words. And sentences. And learning her colors, her numbers and her shapes. To think of where we will be this time next year blows my mind. Some days I feel like I need a badge as a Mom. We made it. We got through. We've made it a year!

Eight Months Old

*Aubrey Faith - we've called upon our faith so many times in the raising of you. May we continue to always call upon the Lord in regards to raising you. May we be the parents you need to shape your precious mind and heart. May we be the parents to love you unconditionally and may we always point you back to Him who loves you even more than we do. You are the best thing that has ever happened to us sweet girl.*

Nine Months Old

Ten Months Old

Eleven Months Old

An Aubrey Update and the Status of This Blog

Hello friends! Boy have I been updating lately or what? Haha, my poor blog has been neglected for so long and now there seems to be a slew of things I want to say! I wanted to pop in and give you a little update about Aubrey and where we stand as far as her delivery is concerned.

Today I had a quick meetup with one of my midwives and she checked to see how far along I was as far as dilation. To spare any gorey details - because that so isn't me - it seems that Aubrey is far to content in her tummy apartment to want to make any kind of appearance on her own. It also seems that she's getting a wee bit chubby and it's about time to evict her from her apartment. So, if she doesn't come on her own this weekend - which there is always a chance - we will go for an induction on Monday. If we don't get bumped (as the hospital only does 3 to 4 inductions a day) because I am not super high on the priority list, then Tuesday will be the day. We are praying for Monday because it seems the doctor on call would do the induction and then transfer care back to our midwife. Which ultimatly is what I want. If we have to go for the induction on Tuesday, that doctor typically will deliver the baby and our midwife would be just a support. Which again, so glad she's there - but would rather she deliver Aubrey.

So that is where we stand! I spent the day buying our food and beverages for our hospital trip. I also picked up a few extra outfits for Aubrey. I'm now making my Mom's famous Chex Mix. The holiday's won't be complete without it. Last minute laundry is getting washed and my delivery gown is drying on the drying rack. Yes, I bought my own delivery gown. I tried it on, and let me say, I felt so pretty in it. I know many would laugh because birth is quiet a dirty process - but being in something so pretty and feminine, I just know is going to make me feel so much better. I got a great deal on the gown and won't feel one bit badly about tossing it after the birth. Here's a photo. It's actually much brighter and pinker in person.

I also wanted to talk about the status of this blog. As many of you know, I've been pretty absent from blogging for most of my pregnancy. I found myself really focused elsewhere and had so little to say. I think I'll be taking a bit of a break for awhile from blogging. As we are not living in our house right now, there is little to blog about on the home front and most of my crafting and house projects are on hold until we are ready to move back home. I am setting up a blog about Aubrey for my friends and family to keep up-to-date about what she's up too. With them living so far away, I don't want them to miss out on all of her changing and growing. I'm sure it will mostly be photos and short stories about how she is doing and what we are up too. You are more than welcome to follow along but know that it will be baby overload. :) I'll post the blog address once it's completed.

In the meantime, I'll definatly pop in the share photos of Aubrey and tell you how her birth went. I may even type out her birth story as I know I enjoyed reading so many other bloggers birth stories. Once things get rolling on our house and I have some projects to share, I will be back. Don't worry, you can't get rid of me that quick. ;) If things get interesting in my life (besides all the new mommy stuff!) I'll be sure to post updates here and there. Thanks for all of the sweet comments and welcome to all my new followers! You all really do mean so much to me.

Inexpensive Baby Crafts

I think I'm mostly done with baby crafting....for now. Once we are ready to move back home, there are a number of art projects that I hope to complete. But for now, we've pretty much exhausted every bit of space that we have acsess to. In fact, some of the items I've created that I'm showing in this post won't be in use until we move home. But I couldn't stop myself! I love to create!


Aubrey's First-Aid Kit
Aubrey's First-Aid kit. This little box holds all of her medical supplies - diaper rash cream, thermometer, medicines, gripe water, ect... Thank heavens for my Cricut Expression. It is the best thing for cutting. It cut every piece that's on this little Sterlite box that was purchased at Walmart for less than $2. I inked the edges of some of the paper to make it stand out a bit more.

Clothes Closet Dividers
I bought these door hangers at Michael's craft store and embellished them. I cut the pieces with my Cricut Expression. Man, I love that thing! There aer actually four all together - but I mistakenly photographed one twice. The last one has a purple moose.



"A" is for Aubrey
I bought this letter long before Aubrey was even a glint in my eye. It was from the Dollar Store. I covered it with pink polka dot paper and some scrapbooking embellishments. This is one of the items that won't be put up until we are back in our own home.

Little Buckets
I bought these little buckets at the dollar section in Michael's. They were galvanized metal but I spray painted them (with a mask on!) "Ballet Slipper" by Krylon. I then used my Cricut to cut out the little tags. They hold cotton balls,  cotton swabs and Aubrey's beauty tools like her nail clippers and hair brush set.



 Hairbow and Headband Hanger
A few years ago, I purchased these hangers at Michael's on clearance. They were a Halloween item and were black in color. I figured I'd use them at some point, and I finally did! This is Aubrey's hairbow and headband holder. I used shimmery pink and shimmery white scrapbook paper and of course, I let my Cricut to all of the cutting for me. I have no sort of luck with an X-acto knife. I have no patience for that kind of thing! I added some little jewels to bling it up a bit too!

If you'd like to see Aubery's temporary nursery, please follow this link.

Aubrey's Temporary Nursery - Picture Heavy!

I wanted to come and share a few photos of Aubrey's temporary nursery. I almost hate saying "temporary" but since we are living at my inlaws, it is her temporary space. Either way, I'm excited to show you how we've put her half of the room together. Get ready for a photo overload! I apologize for the quality of these photos. I was too anxious to wait until the light of day to take them - plus the camera was a little shakey. But you can get the idea. :)

My sister-n-law had this great shelving unit in her room. It's perfect for holding all of Aubrey's belongings. The baskets are from Michael's craft store. I bought them on clearance. When we move back home some of the baskets will go on Aubrey's book shelf and others will go in her closet. The laundry basket on top is for Aubrey's dirty clothes. And the tree is a gift from dear friends. It's from Restoration Hardware Baby and is a "family tree". There are little frames that you place family photos in. I don't have the photos hanging right now since you wouldn't be able to see them well. But I love the tree way too much to leave it at home in storage. Can you see our hospital bags on the right?

This little bucket holds Aubrey's bath supplies.

I bought these little buckets at Michael's in their dollar section. They were originally galvanized metal but I spray painted them "Ballet Slipper" by Krylon. I cut the little tags with my Cricut Expression.

I love penguins and figured that Aubrey definatly needed one. The bottom shelf holds a few books and some baby dvd's and cd's. The rest of Aubrey's books are packed away at home but I can't wait to read her some of what we have right now.

The pink basket holds washcloths and towels. It also holds my slings.

Blankets!

The purple basket holds Aubrey's first-aid kit as well as extra toiletries. The pink basket holds bottles and other feeding supplies. The swirly bag is an insulated bag to put in our diaper bag.

More blankets and our Ivory Snow.

This little rabbit says a prayer if you squeeze its foot. My sister had a lamb that said the same prayer and she would play it for my neice every night. I plan to do the same thing for Aubrey. I actually got tears in my eyes when I unwrapped this gift at my shower!

A jack-in-the-box! This little guy was holding $50 in his little hands! A fun shower gift.

Bouncer, Boppy and toy basket. Gotta also throw in the Diaper Genie too.

Some of Aubrey's toys.

Bouncer that my mom bought for $5 at a yard sale. The Boppy was purchased on amazon.com. I just love the cover!

This little dresser was given to us from a lady at our church. When we move back home, I'll probably repaint it and change the handles. It also will probably get moved elsewhere into our home as we already have a dresser for Aubrey. But this one here is a perfect fit for Aubrey's space! It holds her clothes so nicely. The pink outfit is actually Aubrey's Christmas Eve jammies.

I made the art in the frame as well as the cupcake block. Another basket from Michael's that holds some special burp cloths. My best friends grandma embroidered them for Aubrey.

A couple of the burp cloths. We have some packed in our bag for the hospital too. They say her name. That way, hopefully, we won't loose them. :)

A view of the room.

Fisher Price Little Lamb Cradle 'N Swing. I heard so many wonderful things about this swing. We bought it for $100 on amazon.com. We also had free shipping so it was really a great deal. This swing retails for $200 here in Canada. I can't wait for Aubrey to try it out!

Aubrey's pack-n-play. Since we knew we would be living at my inlaws, we registered for on that had a changing station attatched as quiet frankly, the thought of changing my baby on the floor or the bed is not my cup of tea. It will happen, this I know, but I also wanted to make sure I had a spot dedicated to changing her little dirty bum.

They are anxiously waiting for Aubrey!

(But of course once she is here, they will be removed from the bed.)

Changing area. Wipes, toilettries, swaddeling blankets, diapers and some recieving blankets.

I purchased this little chair on Kijiji for $5. The pink frame is from her Grandma Cresswell.

And finally, our carseat. This bad boy definatly needs to get installed...like yesterday. The blanket is one of those fleece blankets that you tie together. My friend made it for Aubrey. It's so big and nice that we're taking it to the hospital in case I get cold! It's so cozy!

So there you have the tour of Aubrey's temporary nursery. It was fun putting this space together. I can't wait until she is actually here and using all of these things. I have to admit though, I can't wait to get my hands on her nursery back at our house. I have so many plans! Just think, I got to decorate two nurseries! What a lucky girl am I?!