It Takes A Village - Do You Have One?

The other day I was ready to crack. It was one of those days where I could feel the proverbial noose tightening and I felt like I was going to explode. My eleven month old son, Colt, cried nearly all day. ALL. DAY. And the last thing in the world that he wanted was me. And all he could have was me. So it didn't make for a great combination. My ears felt like they were going to bleed from listening to his loud screams and nothing I was doing was comforting my little man. He wanted what he couldn't have - and was throwing a fit. Haven't we all been there before?

In that moment, I knew that I needed my village. I needed the people in my life who love and care for my family to step in and lend a hand. That is how the saying goes, right? "It takes a village to raise a child". And step in they did. My father-in-law offered to hold Colt so I could go lay down and collect myself. He could see that I needed a break. So without hesitation, I took him up on that offer to go recharge my batteries for a bit.

So it really got me thinking about that concept of a "village". And what does a momma do when she is at the end of her rope? What if she doesn't have a village to turn to? What then? Here are my thoughts.

Your village is the people in your life who love you and your family. They could be relatives like grandma's, grandpa's, aunts and uncles. Or it could be friends who have become like family. Or it could even be someone who has come along side of you to offer mentorship and guidance. Your village is the people in your life that you can turn to with no strings attached to ask for help and a soft place to land when things get overwhelming. If you are a momma, your village usually loves your little ones just as much as you do and they willingly step in to help shelter, protect, and care for your littles just as you would. I live with my village. We are staying with my in laws while we finish renovations on our house so my village is as close to me as one can get. That's not to say that they are always around. No, they have busy, full lives and there are many times where it is just my kids and I at home. But more often than not, my village sweeps in when I am at the end of my rope and offers me time to be alone and refresh myself. Your village cares for your little ones just like you would. They love on you and they love on your littles. 

Don't be afraid of that. Let them help.


So what if you don't have a village? 

What if family lives far away and you just don't have the friends to lend a hand. I get that. I am in Canada while my parents, sisters and my dearest of friends live in the States. It's a hard road when you don't have that physical presence of the people you love so much. That's why it's important to find people. You've got to make friends. It's not easy. I get that too. Trust me. I'd rather stay home, curled up on the couch reading a good book than out making new connections. I 100% get it. But it's vital. It's vital to your emotional health as a mom and as a woman. Plug into your local church to find a group that would work for you. Join your local MOPS. Search your community website for programs in your area. Join a club. Find a group of people you will connect with. Dare to reach out. 

Be brave, momma. It's not easy but it will be worth it. 


Find those things that will feed and soothe your soul - if only briefly. For me, I laid on my bed and popped in a DVD of one of my favorite TV shows that always makes me laugh. I turned on a fan to drown out the noise from the rest of the house and let my village take care of my babies for a half hour. When I'm alone, I still do a form of this - only I put my baby in a safe spot like his pack n play - and recharge for a few minutes. It's vital. I have to or momma will explode. 

Maybe you've got your Bible and some notecards of verses that lift your soul on standby. Maybe it's a few select songs on a playlist that take you to the feet of Jesus where he can fill you back up. I've always said that God hears the cries of a desperate mother. He loves you so much. Let him fill your weary self back up. 

"He tends his flock like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart. He gently leads those that have young." 

 - Isaiah 40:11 -

You've got to erase the mommy guilt that says you need to be hands on at all times. If you are about to break, you've got to be okay with putting your littles in a safe spot and taking some moments to recharge. 

It's vital to find time for this on a regular basis. Maybe it's a coffee date with yourself each week where you can go get lost in a book at the local bookstore. Or maybe it's dessert with a friend after the kiddies are in bed. Maybe it's escaping to have a luxurious bath a few times a month. Whatever it is - you've got to allow your village to be with your little ones and you've got to put yourself in the priority seat. You need it momma. And your babies need you to do it too. 

Hope For a Weary Morning

My daughter is sick. She's not been herself the past week. Twice now she has thrown up everything in her tiny two year old body. I'll spare you the details of her sickness but just know that we are low on bed linens and I'm low on energy. Did I mention that my husband is sick too? As I type, he's curled up in bed resting. Aubrey is eating an apple and watching "Max and Ruby". I'm sucking back the last bit of my lukewarm coffee. I completely forgot that I had brewed myself a cup and things took me away from drinking it right away. When I rediscovered it, I decided to drink it anyways. Keurig cups are way to precious to waste. Earlier I discovered that my Diet Dr. Pepper that I had placed in the freezer yesterday to get col had exploded in the freezer. Cleaning up frozen pop was not on my agenda today.

Do you know what was on my agenda?

Working out. Making a turkey dinner. Doing some business organization  Planning for my upcoming Scentsy party. Relaxing after an exciting but busy weekend. Getting ready for this weeks birthday celebrations. Going to an Eric Church concert tonight.

Most of that isn't in the cards today.

I was threatened to feel angry about that. But there was a very comforting Bible verse that soothed my soul today.

I'm thankful for social media. This morning I've already connected with four mom friends who have sick little ones. I came across that Bible verse because another mom of a sick little posted it. It was like water for my weary soul. I felt such peace reading it. Soaking it in. And I had to pass it along.

Today isn't what I planned. Today is going to challenge me to be more "on call" than I wanted to be. I'm playing nurse, doctor, wife and mom today. I can't promise that I won't get to the end of my rope today but I will rest easy knowing that there is peace to be found in this process.

Wishing you a happy day friends.




(P.S. Feel free to share the above image. I made it for y'all.)

Grace

This day sits with a weight on my shoulders. It's as though I can physically feel it pressing upon me. My eyes are heavy and and my body tired. I've been fighting off a cold/sore throat/sinus issue for well over a week now. Monday it landed me in a clinic for some relief. Tylenol, Tylenol - that's all I seem to hear anyone say to take. It's taken me nowhere closer to recovery.

My 16 month old has been testing the boundaries lately. This week it's been coming to a head and through the tantrums, crying, pinching, hitting and her constant throwing of anything within reach, I hear God whisper "Grace. Grace."

I've found my work load piling up as the last thing I want to do is anything that involves thinking. My mind is so cloudy with sickness that to think straight and longer than a few minutes just makes my head hurt all the more. But I have a large Scentsy fundraiser happening and I've got to think clearly. I've got to stay focused, sharp, professional and organized.

And he whispers "Grace. Grace."

The dishes haven't been done for days. They cover every available surface. I've been too sick to even think about touching them and no one else has made the move either. Did I mention there is no dish soap? I couldn't even do the dishes if I wanted too.

"Grace."

I'm surrounded by others and all I want to do is be alone. Still living with my husbands family, sister and brother and today is a day where I would like to be in my own world, with my own things, doing my own thing. And that reality is so far away that it almost makes me cry.

And yet he whispers "Grace."

2 Corinthians 12:9 has been on repeat in my mind. It's as though I can hear the Lord whispering this in my ear.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” 


My grace. It is sufficient. For YOU. For when you are completely undone, my incredible POWER is perfect. And that POWER will carry you. It will make you well. It will sustain you when you feel like you can't go on. And it will give you the GRACE to give others that same kind of grace - when you don't want too. When you feel like you can't. When it does't seem fair or right. MY GRACE will cover you. And my power will be perfect when you are weak. Because when you are weak, I am STRONG.


"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

And that power is carrying me through today. It's a minute-by-minute kind of thing. That amazing power is keeping me in a place of complete dependency on Him because I can't get through it alone.

His Grace.

His Power.

Together.

Helping Me.

Be Strong.

What's My Response?

It's been a discouraging kind of day. It's one that I'll be glad to leave behind me. Nothing, and I mean nothing, seemed to go right today. Through it all I've been asking the Lord what he wants to teach me. I want to learn this lesson quickly and right so I don't have to go through it again. I've been challenged at my response to setbacks. How am I handeling things? What's my attitude? How can I grow through this? I'm trying to learn these lessons in the big things and the small things. And how am I handeling the stress of everyday life? The whining, the crying, the upset routine, the falling through of commitments? I guess there is so much that the Lord wants to refine in me and teach me. May I only be a thirsty vessel for him to fill up. Here's to closing the books on today.

And not only that, but we aslo glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character, and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
                                      -  Romans 5:3-5  -

Home Series: Starting The Morning Off Right

A picture of our morning. Bible Reading and Devotions, tracking Weight Watcher Points Plus, a good cup of coffee, and breakfast for Aubrey and I.

It's been one of those mornings. I'll spare you the details because I know we've all been there and I know that you don't want my junk cluttering up your day. But just know that it's been a morning filled with a load of frustration and anger ... and I've been awake for less than 45 minutes. Insert "sigh" here.

But it's also one of those mornings where I know that I need an extra dose of grace to get me through. I cannot get through my day without a healthy dose of time with the Lord. I find that if I'm not dedicating some of my morning to prayer, learning, and Bible reading, I'm just not a good wife or mom. Can you tell that I haven't done it yet?

Every morning, during breakfast, I read my Bible and a devotional while Aubrey and I enjoy our breakfast. I sometimes read outload the verses or the devotion to her. At ten months old, she can't yet understand what I'm saying but I love to know that I'm surrounding her with the Word of God. 

Sometimes this morning routine is the only way I can get through.  

And today when I need the kind of grace that covers this angry heart, I'm anxious to get to that place with the Lord. I encourage you to spend your morning with Him. I know that mornings can be so rushed. I get it, I know. But can you wake up 15 minutes before the house explodes with activity? Or can you take some time while the kiddos nap? Or some time on your lunch break? Or even a few minutes before bed? I encourage you to set some time aside to gain strength, wisdom, and knowledge for the journey. It makes such a difference in my day...and my attitude. My whole family benefits and then I know I'm making strides at being the mom I really want to be.

And if you're really struggeling with spending time with God, here is a post I wrote about carving out time when I was a brand new mom. And trust me, I still use some of those techniques because there are days when time is the last thing I have.

Heart

Source: laracasey.tumblr.com via Danielle on Pinterest

Today I hit the ground running. It's just one of those days. I'm tempted to wallow in my exhaustion, in my fear and in my irritation. But I'm instead choosing to let the Lord fight my battle. This day is a big one for us. We are leaving for Pennsylvania but first we must attend a heart appointment for Aubrey. I posted about her condition when I wrote her birth story, so I'll just briefly recap for those who are new to Finding Home.

While we were in the hospital recovering from Aubrey's birth and my c-section, there was a few times that Aubrey turned purple. I'm not talking a light shade of purple - I mean a deep, dark shade that instantly makes your blood run cold it was so scary. She spent some time in the NICU for evaluation and we later had to take her home with a halter monitor to monitor her heart for 24 hours. It turns out there is a hole in her heart. It is pretty small but she will be under evaluation for a year. This is her second follow-up heart appointment since being born. At a year old she will have an echo cardiogram to see where we are at. At her six month well-baby visit, her doctor could still hear the murmur so he said it was best to keep the heart appointment. Not that I was going to cancel it anyways.

So, today we go. I'd really covet your prayers. We are praying that in Jesus name her heart would be whole. Not hole. :) Just had to throw that in. :) God has a sense of humor and so do I. But really, I would covet those prayers so much. Also, we are leaving for Pennsylvania today! I'd love your prayers for traveling mercies as well. It's a long 9 hour drive on a good day - not counting stops for an infant. We won't get there until sometime well after midnight. I'd love it if you could say a little prayer for us. It's a busy, crazy day here and it's a day that more than ever I need God to fight this battle for me.

Spending Time With Him When You're Busy

Via: ginacostanza

As a new mom, my free time is precious. It's also few and far between. I love those times during the day when my sweet daughter naps away and I can get a few things done. Things like showering, putting on my makeup, doing my hair, getting dressed and eating. Usually Aubrey will nap long enough for me to get those things done and sometimes she'll sleep even longer. Those are the good days. :)

But on days when it's all I can do to sweep my hair up into a messy bun, I find myself valuing even more those moments where my hands are free to do what I need to get done. I don't anticipate having two free hands for awhile so I've had to make some adjustments in how I do things.

One of those area's is my devotion/quiet time with the Lord. I desperatly did not want to give up my time with him but in this season of being a new mom, I've had to adjust how I spend my time with the Lord. Here are a few things I've started doing.


1. Online Devotions.
I could quiet literally spend a couple hours at a time online. I nurse Aubrey and as she nurses and then eventually falls asleep, I find myself just sitting. (I sometimes don't dare move her as she is a very light sleeper during the daytime hours.) And while it's hard to balance a book over my baby, having my open laptop infront of me is not. I've subscribed to Proverbs 31 Ministries and their email devotions. There is a scripture and a very well written, heart provoking devotion that is delivered to my inbox daily. Each devotion has been challenging and has struck my heart. I'm so pleased with them!

2. Online Bible Reading
As I mentioned above, it's been hard to balance a book - let alone by big Bible - over my sleeping daughter, so reading the Bible online has been great! I use the website Bible Gateway for my Bible reading. The great thing is, you can search the site for specific topics you want to read up on. Or you can search by passage or a keyword. There are reading plans and you can even listen to the Bible audio style. One of my favorite features is that there are tons of different translations so you can see what each verse means in say The Message Bible, or NIV or New King James. Love that.

3. Reading Aloud
When Aubrey is awake, I'm starting to read the Bible to her. Though she doesn't understand what I'm saying, the very act of reading and talking to her excites her. I love that even at this young age, I'm instilling the Word of God into her life. This Bible is actually one I'm hoping to get. It's called The New Mom's Prayer Bible. I've heard really great things about it!

4. Praying
Every night for Aubrey's last night feeding, I pray over her. The lights are low and usually I have some sort of soft music playing. I pray over her precious little life. I pray verses over her. I pray for Shane and I as her parents. I pray for our friends and family and I also use that opportunity to lift of prayer requests of friends that they posted on facebook. I also pray for our friends babies who may be sick or suffering. I like to think that Aubrey is praying for her friends. :) This part of our day is one of my most cherished times.


So though my devotion time has changed, my devotion has not. Things have shifted in my life but I want to always make sure that there is time in my day for the Lord. So I'm curious, do you have any tips on how you spend time with the Lord that you can pass along? I'd love to hear them!

Ordinary Days

Sometimes life can be mundane. We go about our daily routines not really thinking about the monotony of taking out the dog, washing the dishes, making breakfast, lunch and dinner, sweeping the floors, running errands and grocery shopping. We just do it because it has to get done. The ordinary seems ordinary and sometimes I find myself not stopping to realize how God is working in those circumstances.

I was especially struck when I read some passages from my devotional book "My Utmost For His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. The book is broken down into days and on June 15th, I read these words:

'Drudgery is the test of genuine character. The greatest hindrance in our spiritual life is that we will only look for big things to do. Yet, "Jesus...took a towel and...began to wash the disciples' feet..." John 13:3-5

He goes on to say:

'We all have those times when there are no flashes of light and no apparent thrill to life, where we experience nothing but the daily routine with its common everday tasks. The routine of life is actually God's way of saving us between our times of great inspiration which comes from Him. Don't always expect God to give you His thrilling moments, but learn to live in those common times of the drudgery of life by the power of God.'

I think I must have been so struck by this devotion because this is just where I am at in life. I've mentioned before some of the awesome opportunities that I've had before to serve the Lord in large ways. Traveling, speaking, helping to run things. In fact, after I was finished with my ministry training, I found it hard to simply go back into the "shadows" of just regular church attendance. I was used to helping set up for services, doing dramas at different parts of the message, helping to host large scale events like week long youth camps and major concerts. To sit back and merely attend church on a Sunday morning was so different for me. Shocking, really. And then bit by bit I was removed even further as I began just a hum-drum job as a cashier at Walmart. There was no longer the ebb and flow and unexpectedness of working in a church atmosphere. 

And in that time I began to know the Lord in a different way. As I experienced the different personalities of customers who came through my line, I was challenged to live out a true Christian countanence - especially when faced with rude and nasty customers. I learned how to flesh out a devotion time with the Lord when it wasn't automatically scheduled into my day. Prior to that, it had been on my schedule - it was easy to have devotion time when it's built into your schedule. And now, as I have been a stay-at-home wife for the past few years, and have went about my ordinary life keeping a home, taking care of dogs and honoring my husband, I've come to experience the Lord in a whole new way.

This is a quiet time in my life. A chance to spend time with the Lord in a new way. To experience the rest he so freely wants to give us - 'my yoke is easy and my burden is light'. I've not been involved in active ministry for awhile - my last bit was coleading a high school girls Sunday School class last year. Now I'm learning to sit back and drink in the ordinary. To serve Him as I fold my husbands clothes. To pray a prayer over my hubby as he leaves to provide for our family. To make a conscience effort to thank the Lord for this ramshackle house and praise him for the opportunities to spend an hour reading his Word and studying who He is. I take it as a preparation time for the next thing he wants to do in my life - motherhood. I hope you are preparing too. In the ordinary moments of the day - as you practice obedience in your mundane tasks. As you flesh out being a patient, kind, gentle mother. As you speak words of life and affirmation to your husband. As you care for your home and all that God has entrusted to you. As you do it with a humble heart and a joyful spirit. It's not easy but it's practicing the presence of God in our ordinary lives. Drawing us just a bit closer to who he is and becoming just a bit more of who he wants us to be.

As one of my favorite speakers, teachers and author, Donna Otto says:

"The common begin and the uncommon finish. Go out and have a very uncommon day." 

When It Wasn't Me - But He.

“Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit’ says the Lord Almighty.” - Zechariah 4:6

It was the during the Spring of 2004 and I felt this gnawing on my heart. I was standing in a tiny country church. It was the kind of church that looked like it should have been on an episode of “Little House On The Prairie”. Quaint. Small. Wooden benches. It was the type of church where everyone knew one another’s name and you could bet that the pastor was coming over to your house for Sunday dinner. It was also where I was about to speak to a group of teenagers and I felt like God was getting ready to change up the message that I had prepared for the evening. And I was a bit panicked.

I was on staff for Master’s Commission, an intense discipleship program for college age students. We’d begun the school year mid-September and since that point I had been the one our director had chosen to do most of our speaking engagements. I’d been in front of numerous youth groups, a couple of youth camps and even a few youth rally’s sharing the message of Jesus. I’d performed skits with my teammates - some silly, some serious. We’d poured our hearts out in worship, prayed over kids, and shared the amazing message of Christ to hungry hearts. It’s what we craved to do and for that year we were living that dream.

So why was this night any different than the others? I had remembered spending a number of hours praying over the message I felt the Lord wanted me to deliver. I’d researched quotes and stats and funny anecdotes. I’d poured over my Bible and referenced verses and chapters. I was ready to go. So while the rest of my teammates were playing games with the kids before the service, I took a few minutes and went in the sanctuary to pray. And it was then I felt God telling me he had a different message. It was like a bit of a punch in the gut for this girl who likes to be organized and prepared down to a T. I thought that perhaps I wasn’t hearing the Lord correctly. Surely he wouldn’t switch it up minutes before the service. But why would he not? I think he was trying to teach me a lesson on dependence. On him. And not my preparation.

The apostle Paul told us to ‘be prepared in season and out of season (2 Timothy 4:2)’ and in those moments I was learning what that meant. I grabbed another staff member who was also one of my dearest friends. We prayed over what I was feeling the Lord was saying and we both agreed that what I was feeling was right. So our teammates played a few more with the youth group and I jotted down a few things that I felt the Lord saying.

I can’t remember what it was that I said that night. It wasn’t me that was speaking. That night I could feel the power of the Holy Spirit speaking through me and I knew that it was not in my strength but in his that I spoke. Verses came out of my mouth. I hadn’t prepared for this message but God was giving it. And it was incredible! At the end of the message I gave an alter call. And not one person responded.

I turned the service back over to the youth pastor and sat down on one of those wooden pews. I began to question myself again. Had I really heard the Lord? Why had no one responded? I almost felt a little sheepish. Until I heard the youth pastor speak. With words of authority and a voice of compassion, he looked at his youth group and said, “Why didn’t any of you come up here? Mandi just read your mail.”

And then he went on to bring the message home. God knew that those kids needed to hear what was said that night. I had no idea what the students were going through or had any clue as to what they were facing. But God knew. He knew exactly what they needed to hear in a way that I could never have imagined. He spoke to those kids through me. It wasn’t by might. Or by my power. But by his power. And it was then the kids started coming to the alter. Only two were left in their seats. It was such a powerful time at that alter. There were tears. There was healing. There was power and transformation. And then there was joy. True joy.


They say that public speaking is the number one fear of society. But for me, speaking words of life over an audience is pure joy. There is a sweet surrender in my spirit as I lay aside my agenda and follow the Lord’s direction as to what he would have me say. I’ve spoken to audience as small as a handful of people to groups in the hundreds. And in those few moments, it’s a laying down of me so that He may be glorified. I’ve come to know that is one of the giftings that the Lord has chosen to give me. Am I eloquent? By no means. I’m more of a stuttering Moses - but in his strength, I am made perfect. And it is through that strength I have seen lives touched and changed. Not by my might. Nor by my power. But by his spirit.

In those deepest parts of my heart, I long to speak to groups. Women’s retreats. Youth camps. Youth groups. Conferences. It’s this longing that I can‘t shake. It’s that God-shaped dream inside of this heart. But I must admit, I don’t know what my next steps are. I trust the Lord to make them clear in his time. I had heard of She Speaks Conference months ago and looked into going. Financially it is not within our means this year. And though there is a tract just for speakers, where you can learn how to develop a great message, understand what makes a message memorable, delivery techniques and what I’m most interested in learning - how to increase speaking engagements by using proven marketing strategies. These are the nitty grittys that I’m dying to learn. It’s my heart’s cry! Even typing these words I just get excited.

You see, this post has been my application for a Cecil Murphy scholarship to attend She Speaks. The conference is for women who want to be speakers, writers, and Women’s Ministry Leaders. There are a hundred other gals who are dreaming of being selected to win one of three scholarships. I pray that the right women are chosen and I trust that God has those women already selected. I’m excited for my chance to be considered for a scholarship. And you can have that chance too! If you are interested in attending 2010 She Speaks please just follow this link and it will take you to the She Speaks site. Or, if you are interested in applying for a scholarship, please click here. You only have until tomorrow - Friday, March 26th - so hurry!


Be blessed my friends! Thanks for taking a few minutes to read ya’ll! Love you much.
 

Prayer Warriors - Please Just Take A Second

My Dear Friends,

Sometimes things happen in life and we just have no idea why. Last night I read a status update on Facebook letting me know to be praying for my good friend, Dewey's son. His name is Luke and he's just two-years old. They had to rush Luke by ambulance to Pittsburgh Children's Hospital (they live over three hours away). To make a brutal story short, last night he was diagnosed with luekemia. This sweet and precious two year old. I am asking with everything in me that you would pray for Lucas. I know that there are so many of you out there who are prayer warrios - who believe that God can do anything. As I type this, I have tears in my eyes. This family I count among some of my dearest friends and to know that they are facing this situation breaks my heart. But I trust that God can heal Luke. Please pray for him. Tell everyone you know. Let's cover this precious family with prayer. Thank you friends.

Believing,

Go. In The Name Of Love.

Last night the topic of conversation between our group turned to Haiti. And two friends began to have a heated debate. One on one side, the other on the other side. Each passionate about their point. Each not agreeing with the other. And I sat in the middle. Eye to eye they argued. I leaned back. Finger to pointed finger they made their point known. I leaned back just a bit farther. And then I started thinking.

When was the last time I gave of myself to my country - or my new home country? Giving of my money has never been my thing. If I had the extra cash, I’d give it - but usually that isn’t the case. I give of me. My time. My resources. I thought to the time I was in the Dominican Republic. The first night I had ever been out of the country. I was working with a children’s ministry there and we were setting up to do some street work. I was dressed as the cutest clown you ever did see and I was pretty happy to be there in the middle of that hot street. A little Hatian boy came up to me - perhaps never seeing a person with clown makeup on, maroon tights and balloon animals. Curious, he came up to me. Probably just five years old. He didn’t ask a thing - just curious. And before I knew it, a police officer - or a guard - or a military man - dressed in green - cocked his big gun and pointed it at the little boy. And me. And violently shooed that little boy away. I turned away. Sick to my stomach. I had been in the country less than three hours and at that point had realized how much the Hatians were hated in the Dominican Republic. Later that night, driving to our hotel, there was a man with no legs begging in between the cars at the red light. Scooting on his hands he went from car to car. So dangerous - he just couldn't be seen. And my heart broke again. We had been warned not to give people money - but the leader of our group jumped out of the car and gave. It was a hard first night.

I’ve walked the streets of New York City, Washington DC, Pittsburgh and Las Vegas giving out sandwiches, tooth brushes, combs, Bibles, socks. I’ve handed out blankets and smiles. I’ve given cups of soup to a line of over 100 people in Vegas. And I've taken friends by the hand as they were nervous or scared to serve and shared with them that these are just people. I didn't mind doing the talking. I love to hear people's stories. I’ve walked into the homes of heroin addicts and offered the services of different churches. And they always take it. I’ve given boxes of Valentines to fathers who’s children had nothing. I’ve knocked on doors and prayed for people. I’ve held babies in my arms who are addicted to alcohol - drinking it from their bottles because their mothers knew no better. I’ve hugged a mother as she wept in my arms because I offered her a meal. Her daughter had just been diagnosed with HIV and needed food to take her thirteen medications. And the mother had nothing. And there I was, at her door, offering her a meal. There is nothing like that feeling. Knowing that you’ve helped someone in a tangible way.

I’ve served warm coffee, plates of food and sweet desserts to the homeless in my current city. I was thankful that they were eating better than I was. I was eating a sandwich but they were eating like kings. And they deserved it. I’ve cleaned their tables and straightened their chairs so that they would have a clean place to eat. I’ve welcomed them into The Mission with an open heart and the warmest of smiles. And every time I went to serve, I couldn’t wait. I always had a great time. I just love people so much.

I’ve served a meal to hundreds of homeless in a banquet in Pittsburgh. Our church set out their best chairs, tablecloths, and food for them. Later we all had church - and sang to familiar hymns. I listened to the stories of families living on the streets - one who had just had a baby. I looked the other way as they took toilet paper from the bathrooms. Held some as they cried. Helped them find the best looking clothes at a clothing drive. And later as I helped bus them back into the heart of the city, we sang more. And laughed more. And my heart was so full. I had hoped theirs was too. Give. That’s all I wanted to do. Give. Serve. Be the hands and feet of Jesus.

And as these two friends argued over me, I realized I hadn’t served lately. I’d always been sensitive to that word - go. It would tug at my heart and I always listened. I hadn’t heard it in so long. Was I not seeing the need? Was I out of touch? Go. When we were in the Dominican Republic, I had been given an extra order of French fries with my meal. I hadn’t ordered them and didn’t have to pay for them. I like to think that the Lord put those on my tray so that I could give them to the little brother and sister who had wandered into the restaurant begging for something to eat. And the louder these two friends became, the more I could hear the whisper in my heart. Go. Praying to be sensitive to those times when I can give fries in the name of love. Go. So today as I sit reflecting on things I have done and where I have been realizing that I can do more, that word is still playing in my ears. Go. Serve. Be. Give. Go.


What will you do in the name of love?

Thank you!

Hello chicks!!

I just wanted to pop in and thank each and every one of you for thinking of my little family as we've been going through this season of layoff anticipation. I'm so incredibly happy to report that in the past two weeks, there have been two layoffs and Shane has not been a part of either one. There are still more that are expected but we are just trusting that God has it all under control. Yesterday, I just felt such an overwhelming amount of peace about the whole situation. We've been incredibly blessed because the past few weeks, Shane has been working overtime. He really didn't even have a day off he was working so much. What a blessing that was!

So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your prayers and words of encouragement. I really really felt them. Thank you once again.

I hope to jump right back into blogging asap! I've missed it!! I've got some projects under my belt that I'm excited to share. Today, I also bought TWO gallons of paint for a number of projects that I'm itching to get at. The weather is fall-like here. We've even had some frost warnings in neighboring towns. I've got to get these painting projects done before the snow flies.....I say that with a nervous little laugh. I know it's coming soon!

Look for everything soon!! Love you all!!

A God Moment

This week I have been reminded just how much the Lord cares for me. He's been showing me in not so small ways that he's "got my back". See, my relationship with God is this friendship thing. He's my best and I'm his best. Best friends. There is a praise song that goes "Jesus, you are my best friend, and you will always be, and nothing will ever change that." That's me and God. We're tight.

But sometimes I forget just how much he cares for me. How much he provides. How much he's got his finger on the pulse of my life. This week, whether he decided to remind me, or whether I woke up and smelled the roses, I'm not sure. Either way, I got a few wake-up calls this week. Want to hear?

First came in the form of a large, furry animal. The big black kind. We're talking a black bear people. Now, bears are no strangers to our subdivision. I've blogged about a few sightings before. But this time, God's provision was involved. See, almost a week ago today, was garbage day. We always take our garbage out in the morning before Shane leaves for work. Our routine goes something like this: I'm up first to make Shane's lunch. He get's up about 15-20 minutes later. He gets ready for work. He takes all three dogs out for their potty time. And then we just wait for his ride to come or he leaves to pick up his carpool buddy. Whichever the day. On garbage days, Shane takes out the recycling and garbage while taking out the pups. This day was different.

I had lined up the recycling bins by the door for Shane to take out. This morning he didn't take the dogs out with him. As he went to open the front door, recycling bin in hand, a big black bear came running up the side of our yard with our garbage can in his mouth! He ran with our can across the street, into the neighbors back yard and I'm assuming, into the woods. A minute or two passed and we noticed there was a garbage bag left in the yard. With no bear in sight, Shane went to go pick it up. We didnt' want to invite that bear back. Or the crows. While he was picking up the sack, the bear came back. And boy, he was a bigg'en. He started down the neighbors driveway back towards our house. Shane was closer to the bear than to the door of our house. I was in the doorway saying a little prayer.

This photo does no justice to his size. I'm across the street with my cheap digital camera.

Thankfully, Shane was able to scare the bear off. But I was reminded how God took care of my little family. On a normal day, the dogs would have run right out of the house. Hopefully they would have just scared the bear away, but truly, there is no telling how the bear would have reaccted. I'm thankful that in the split second that Shane went to walk out of the house, the bear chose to run away from the side of our house. I'm thankful that Shane didn't have a one on one with that ol' black bear.


Here is just one more example of how God was takin' care of his kids this week. See, in our town/area, we've been getting buckets of rain. The city has been hit so hard that streets have been closed down due to flooding. Cars are floating away and people are literally paddeling down the street in canoes. A few months ago, we were hit with a flooding basement. Since then we've installed a sump pump that has really taken care of us. I'm thankful to report that though we've been hit with so much rain, we've had no flooding. Many many other homeowners have, and my heart goes out to them, but thankfully, we've been taken care of. Maybe the Lord knew this all would happen and was preparing us a few months ago. Hmm....I'm not sure...

But though there hasn't been any water damage, our hot water tank broke yesterday. Wham-boo, broke. No rhyme or reason as to why. Shane just thinks that it was old. Kaput. Dead. Panic started to sink in as we realized that we would need a new one. But then, God brought to memory, that we RENT our tank. Yes, rent. And that if it breaks, we get a new one. Free of charge. It's a pain to pay for it each month, but this week, it's paying off. The real kicker is, again, a few months ago, Shane almost tore out that tank and bought our very own. We'd been having a lot of problem s with the tank company. They were applying our bill payment to my inlaws bill and made it seem like we weren't paying for our service. Dinging up our credit. Not cool. After a heated phone call with the company, Shane decided to just wait on tearing out the tank. Yesterday, we saved $1000 because we waited. Granted, the new tank won't get installed until tomorrow... but I'm a-ok with that! I'm showering at my inlaws and that's just fine with me.

God's got us in the palm of his hand. He's always there whether we see it or not. I've really been reminded of this verse this week:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:25-27

So my friends, remember who it is that is keeping you. Who holds you. Who's got you in the palm of his hand. Who's caring for you so deeply. Who has it all figured out. Just rest in his will.

The Suprise of a Lifetime...For Me Anyways

Remember when I mentioned that our door was not shutting properly? I think I failed to really go into the drama of it all because it was far to freaky to think that I could see outdoors from inside my home. That I was locked IN my house because the lock and frame were so completely warped. Or that after the door frame was shored up, we learned that our door was so shoddy that anyone could just lay a little weight onto it and get into our house. Or how many numerous times we've been locked out of our house from a frozen solid door lock. Oh the agony.

Well, one exciting thing that happened when we were in PA was this.


A new door!



Our friend Kevin came over, busted in (pushing a few times with his skinny shoulder on our crummy door) and replaced our door with this sweet one! It is so wonderful. It is all that I could ask for and more. No butterfly window. No brassy handles. Little windows at the top. And a lock that is so nice that you can actually change it to three different settings so that you have basically three different locks. It was an amazing suprise and a wonderful present from our friend. I was so truly grateful.

I can sleep soundly at night.

So, has your lock ever been frozen? Frozen solid. So frozen that you have bent your key trying to get into your home? Oh, you haven't? Lucky. Oh, you have? My sympathys. Here is the advice we have learned.

Forget the lock de-icer. Doesn't work. At all. When the inside of your lock is frozen. You'll waste your money and probably get in a fight with your significant other at 11 pm. Did I mention that you're frozen out of your house? You can try to use a lighter to heat your key so that you can put that heat inside the frozen lock. This usually doesn't work. Bent keys and too many fire hazards. Leave a window open. Definalty haven't tried that one when it's -25.

What does work? WD40. It is a miracle worker. We keep a bottle on our porch and one in the truck to get our lock back to working order. Just spray. And wait a minute or two. Try key. May need to spray again. But usually, you'll get right in.

Oh the perils of living in Northern Ontario.

Double Oh Nine - And a long wordy post to kick it off!

As I've been reading so many of your blogs about resolutions, goals and your 'word of the year', I wanted to share with you my own course of action for 2009.

Goal setting and vision casting has always been something that grabs my heart. Perks my ear. Turns my head. You know, that kind of thing. I'm the type of person who is always making lists. Who keeps mini-notebooks stashed in her purse to jot down ideas, recipes, craft projects, quotes, Bible verses, funny things people say. I'm the type of person who likes to chart a course - have a plan, a vision. That's not to say that I always follow through. I'd be such a phony liar if I said that. But, the idea of having a plan gets me focused and keeps me steady for the course.

2008 was quiet a hard year. I was adjusting to being married, a new wife, a new homeowner, being away from my family and close friends. I was jobless (still am, but that's another story for another day) and our debt load was up to our eyeballs. We were struggeling to keep food in our fridge - let alone in our stomachs. Many times my inlaws bought us groceries to carry us through - coupled by the fact that we ate at their house a few nights a week. There were times that Shane went to work with cereal for his lunch and chocolate chips as a treat. It was sad. We were fighting. And life was hard.

I had hoped to get back on staff at our church doing youth ministry - as they had fired the youth pastor just two weeks after I had moved back to Canada. After a lot of prayer and a meeting with the senior pastor, I realized it wasn't going to happen as I had hoped. But was later offered the interum position as junior high youth leader in March until the beginning of summer. But once that position was through, I really began to question where God wanted me in ministry. Or did he want me there at all? It is all that I have ever truly wanted and dreamed of. To work in ministry. Serving. Speaking. Discipling. Training. Praying. Teaching. Learning. Sharing. And more Serving. Life was hard.

But, then the winds shifted and things began to change. We were able to pay off all of our credit card debt, our truck and my school loan. We were debt free and feeling so good. We were finally able to start getting our finances back on track. I started to really become somewhat of a whiz in the kitchen, learning to rework meals and discovering how to feed a man with a GIANT appetite on a tiny budget. I discovered the love of blogging and all you sweet gals. I began to find community here as being home alone each day from sun up until sun down can become lonely.

When 2008 was about to close its curtain, I was at my inlaws house. Which has truly become my second home. You know those places where you feel so at ease? Where you feel like you can be you - that you don't put on any airs? Usually it is your own home, the one you grew up in and perhaps your best friends house - those places that you can just be you. That is my inlaws home. I married into a great family! It was good to be there, with them, celebrating in our own way. There was no giant ball. In fact, the Canadian television was just running commercials at midnight. We clinked our wine glasses filled with Pepsi and smiled at the thought of what the new year was to bring.

And truly, I'm hoping for great things.

My word for the year is "ABIDE".

I have been making "words of the year" since about 2001. It's been fun and exciting to implament those attributes into my life. I usually search out and do a bible study on that particular word to help ingrain it into my heart better. ABIDE. Here is what I am hoping this words means for me this year.

1. to remain; continue; stay: Abide with me.
This is what I hope to embody this year:

John 15:4-11
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

2. dwell; reside
This year I hope to make my home the haven it is meant to be. I will get things in true order. Organize. Create a space where we can mingle and mix and be. To celebrate. To find refuge. To be able to offer hospitality. To create a sanctuary. To truly make this space my home. To truly dwell here. To embrace Canada and this, my still new country, as my own.

3. to remain steadfast or faithful to; keep: If you make a promise, abide by it.
And this is my goal to become steadfast in my quest to become healthy. I have already begun to rearrange my lifestyle to prepare for this. I officially began Weight Watcher's yesterday. I'm so very excited about this and really hope that I can do this. I'm setting myself up for success because it is time. I am ready. And I am going to do it.

ABIDE. 2009. Here I come!

Hosanna

"Hosanna" - Hillsong United

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes


I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing

[Chorus]
Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest


I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees


[Chorus]
Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest


Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

[Chorus]
Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

Hosanna in the highest

Follow Your Heart

So last night I was heading home after visiting my mum-in-laws. It was after 10:30 pm and I had my doggies in the truck with me. I'm heading down 69North towards home. No stars or moon that I could see and this particular stretch of highway is pretty deserted. No houses, few businesses and four lanes of traffic. All of a sudden, I see a girl walking down the road. She's on the side of the road - not hitch hiking. Just walking. I am used to seeing hitch hikers. But she wasn't. Just walking.

And my heart felt like it was being squeezed.

I had this overwhelming burden to stop and ask if she was okay. Something was absolutely d-r-a-w-i-n-g me to her. And I couldn't explain it other than to say, it was a God thing. And so I said "God, you've got to be kidding. I can't pull over and ask this girl if she is okay. What if she is a murderer? I've got the dogs with me. Like, come on, what if I scare her when I pull over? I can't stop." And truthfully, I wasn't scared of being murdered. It was an excuse I was trying to use to get myself out of this overwhelming sense that I had to stop.

Of course, by this time, I was way past her. A few miles past her. Minutes away. I was on my way home. And then I turned around. Without thinking. I just did it. And at that moment, I said "Woe. Okay God, I get the picture."

And I started to look for her again.

And again I argued with God. "Um, so once I see her, then what??" And my heart was squeezed. "You know I can't stop right?" Squeeze. "Okay, I'll just drive by to make sure she's okay. There are no houses for miles and miles. Where is she going? Fine, I'll just drive by." SQUEEEEEZE. "I get the picture."

I see her. Still walking. Head down. Back pack slung onto one shoulder. Walking. I drive past and turn around in a parking lot. I drive by her again. SQUEEZE.

I drive to a parking lot and call 911. What else could I do? Could I really stop? I didn't feel like it was an option for me so I called someone who could maybe offer her a ride or see if she was okay. The police.

"Emergency."

"Hi. This is Mandi Cresswell and I am heading down 69North towards the Valley and there is a girl walking on the side of the road. She's not hitch hiking or anything but there is nothing around for kilometers. I was just wondering if there was anyone in the area if they could just stop and see if she was okay."

"What does she look like?"

I described her.

"Does she have on a blue coat?"

"I believe it's a blue plaid coat."

"I think that's our missing girl! Hold on a second."

She puts me on hold. I had no idea about a missing girl! None at all!

"Mandi, I believe this is our missing girl. We've had officers out looking for her for hours. We'll have an officer there in about 3 minutes."

So, yes.

AFter the phone call, I drove by the girl again. No police had arrived. But then I saw them, lights dim (not flashing), driving slowly. Searching for her. And by the time I turned around, they were with her. She was in the car.

And I drove home. Feeling good. No more squeezing. Feeling warm. It was 11:30 by the time I got home. It takes me 20 minutes to get home from my mum-in-laws. Follow your heart.