Sunday, April 11, 2010

When Things Don't Work Out As You Planned - More Than Just A Barn Star

Paint: $1.39
Foam Brush: $.69
Realizing that I don't love the new change: Priceless.


If that barn star was in any other home but mine, I'd love it. But it's so not jiving with my neutral pallet. Ah well! I'll be spray painting it black one day.

Here's what I mean by "one day".



I must admit that I have been dreading writing this post. But I need to tell you what has been going on in my life in the past few days. This past Thursday evening, my visa was revoked so I am no longer able to live in Canada at this present time. For those of you new to my blog, let me briefly explain my situation. I met my hubby almost seven years ago while I was working at a church in Canada. A year later we started dating and a few months after that I ended up moving back to the States. We decided to keep dating as we liked each other so much and to make a long story short, later got engaged and then married. Three days after our wedding I moved to Canada to start my life with my hubby. As part of that process, I was put on a visitors visa that merely allowed me to stay in Canada. I could not work, attend school or have access to the Canadian health care system. As part of our situation, I needed to apply for Permenant Residency which would allow me to stay in Canada, work and have health care. The paperwork is about an inch thick, incredibly detailed (listing guests at our wedding, listing everywhere I lived and worked in the past 10 years, photographic evidence of us dating and our wedding, ect.).

We had been steadily working on the application process since 2007 - but also a big part of this process was getting background checks and fingerprints for each country I lived in (Canada and the USA), medical tests including chest xrays, blood work and an entire physical. I had to have photographs taken and a whole host of other things. To top it off, the fees of this whole thing was over $1300 - not counting the trips to the States for fingerprinting and background check. (Pennsylvania does not mail them to other countries and you can only pay with a US credit card. Such a nightmare.) All of this to say, it's been a long process for us and we honestly didn't realize how much time it would take. What we also didn't know is that we had to get this application done in less than a year - the length of my first visa. See, since that first visa, I've renewed it twice and never had a problem. Until Thursday night.

My visa was about the expire and since we were headed to PA for the weekend, we stoped at the border to have my visa renewed. To make a long story short, the woman who delt with us was horrible. Mean, shrewed, confrontational - and denied my visa because I had been in Canada for 2 and a half years (though she kept saying three years) and hadn't submitted my Permenant Residency application. She revoked my visa and told me that we needed to leave Canada and if we attempted to cross the border they would "come chase us down".

So here I am. In Pennsylvania. Until who knows when. My hubby is submitting the application this week and then we wait. There is the chance that when we submit the application and get a reciept that we sent it registered mail (and we will be photocopying each page of the app as proof) we can go back to the border and "if we are lucky" (border gaurds words) we will be able to get another visa so that I can wait out the application review in Canada. If not, (meaning we get a border gaurd in a bad mood), then I will have to come back to my parents house and live here for what could be the next nine months. It's an awful feeling to know that my life is being based on whether or not we are "lucky" enough to have someone who will give us another visa.

As you can imagine, this has been such a devastating thing for Shane and I. He leaves to go back to Canada tomorrow and I am truly dreading that day. My heart has been broken in half thinking of being without him. Unfortunatly, this has been such a theme of our relationship though. Long distance dating and engagement, him being in trade school each year of our marraige (which means he lives three hours away from our home for two months - home on weekends). We actually just got done with him going to trade school - from January to March. We had all of April together as we have been on unemployment due to him being in school since January. Can the hits just keep on coming?

I'm doing my best to stay positive. I have a wonderful family who is keeping me busy - this upcoming week we have lots of plans. They have a great calling plan to Canada (free calls!) and they have been more than supportive. How blessed can I be? My friends have been so great too. But still, my heart is hurting. I'm dreading tomorrow when Shane leaves. I know there will be lots of tears. I have about a weekends worth of clothes - but never in my wildest dreams would I have thought to prepare like I would be living away from my home for an undertimned amount of time. It's so hard to think about being away from my husband, my dogs, our home, my stuff. I've also been having a hard time with the thought of blogging and reading blogs as I tend to like to read about home decor - and well....I won't be in my home for well...maybe the next nine months. I think I just need to take a bit of time off. Maybe just a few days - maybe a bit longer. I'm not sure. Right now I'm just not even sure what on earth to blog about that anyone would find interesting. Please just bear with me. :) Please.

Thanks for taking the time to read this long post. Feel free to ask me any questions if I haven't explained well. And though I say I may be taking a blog break, who really knows. I mean, it might just be the thing I need to keep my mind off of what is going on in my life. Please pray for Shane and I that our marriage stays strong, that we grow only closer during this time apart, that this application process goes quickly and smoothly in our favor. I know that God has a plan!! I know that he does. I'm trusting and hanging on as tight as I can.


30 comments:

Mom. Nonstop. said...

Things will always be up and down. God will always have a plan for you. I encourage you to stay active with your blog, as an outreach, vent area, and support. Blogs are like family. Sometimes, you just have to say what my 19 month old daughter says when she get's upset. "Poop!"

Jennifer said...

I am so sorry to hear this. In moments like this is can be so hard to imagine there is a plan to everything, but HE does have a plan. Trust in that and trust in your love for your husband. You will get through this. You will be in the prayers of many. Blogging and reading blogs may be a wonderful way to find friendships to help you through this time.
~Jennifer

Heather@PixieDust said...

I'm so sorry!! I can't believe that Canada can do that. I hope everything goes well and as quickly as possible. <3 <3

Beth said...

WOW. What a mess with the visa. I had no idea what all a person must go through to get one. You summed it up in your last sentence...God has a plan! I'll be praying for you and your husband.

The Southern Housewife said...

Oh Mandy, how my heart does hurt for you. Being kicked out of your home and separated from your husband, I just can't even imagine. I'm so sorry you're in the position. I will most definitely be praying for you sweet girl. He does have a plan and sometimes, no matter how hard it can be, we just have to trust He won't steer us wrong and He never gives us more than we can bear. You'll be in my heart sweetie. :)

Becky@Beyond The Picket Fence said...

Mandi--I am so sorry about this. It really is infuriating that he governments spend so much time and energy on the wrong people. Hang in there, rely on God, and take the opportunity to do/eat all the US things you have been missing!

Beth@The Stories of A to Z said...

What in the world??? I had no idea there was so much drama involved in being married to a Canadian. How ridiculous and infuriating this whole nightmare must be for both of you. Since you obviously have no control here, and this whole thing is just CRAZY, I would surrender it all at the feet of Christ and pray for Him to grant you grace to walk through this time. I would also be looking for His purpose in all this. Extra time under the same roof as your family, time with friends in the States could be a tremendous blessing. Will also be praying for your speedy return to your home and to your hubby! Email me if you need to talk.

Pokey said...

I am sorry about this trial, Mandi, and that is what this is. I'll be praying for a quick resolve in the matter. It seems the fact that you are married, would make a difference!
You'll get the chance again to paint that star the color you want.

Psalm 37:4 "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

Miss Madison's Mommy said...

Wow I really hope things are worked out for you soon! I had no idea so much went into moving to another country. Good luck and I'll be here when you get back!

Sarah said...

Whew! What a post! My husband and I are very very close and when he has to be away it is so hard for me. I couldn't imagine your pain during this time but I hope that all goes as smooth as it possibly can and that this issue is resolved quickly. God has a plan!

Amanda@Imperfectly Beautiful said...

Oh Mandi...bless your sweet heart!!! I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all this. Being away from your hubby is not easy, but yes...you are right. God definitely has a plan and He knows us and our needs. He will not leave you alone! I will keep you and Shane in my thoughts and prayers. Here is hoping for a fast and easy return to your sweetheart!

Love you
~Amanda

p.s....take all the time you need. We will still be here when you get back, sweet girl!

Jennifer said...

Bless your heart! I cannot imagine what that must be like to be away from your husband and your home for who knows how long. It breaks my heart for you! Definitely praying this will be resolved soon!

chunnym said...

Thinking of you and hoping ALL goes well and FAST!

Mary @ Neat and Tidy said...

This is Mandy's mom speaking...

Don't worry people; we'll keep her busy here! Maybe she can get my house fixed as cute as hers is. Now if I could only get her to learn to drywall, I'd have it made!

But seriously, please keep Shane and Mandy in your prayers. Sometimes we just don't know why God allows what He allows; and sometimes the pain is difficult. But His will always, always is the best for each of us.

Small House said...

OH DEAR! Something I say to myself when I'm having a tough time...."This to shall pass."
Keep your chin up. I'm sure good things will come your way.

Lucy Marie said...

Girl ... I am so sorry. I will be praying for you that the process goes quickly and that you and Shane stay strong throughout this challenge. xoxoxo. Please let me know if you need anything.

Katie said...

omgoodness. i will definately keep you and your hubs in my thoughts and prayers. i hope all this works our smoothly and QUICKLY! hang in there and enjoy your family!!!

Libbyloulou said...

Mandi, I'm sorry to read you are going through this challenging time. I will pray for you both.
Hopefully, this time with your parents will be a blessing in disguise.

Kimmy @ my beautifully blessed life said...

I am so sorry to hear about all the tough stuff that you have been dealing with. I can't imagine how hard it must be knowing that you will be away from your husband for an undetermined amount of time. That is truly heartbreaking! :( I will definitely keep you in my prayers, that you will have complete favor for your whole application process, and I know that God will bless you both greatly for continuing to trust Him during this hard time in your life!

Barb said...

Sending prayers Mandi! Keep the faith it will work out! Sharing my favorite scripture with you, this scripture has lifted and carried me thru many trials... Psalms 27:14 ~ I know it will help you! Stay in touch as best you can...talk (blog) to us, and remember we care, we are here for you and Shane!

Real Life Reslers said...

Mandi- I'm so sorry to hear this! I can't believe it. :( I hate it that someone so nice is being mistreated! Ugh...shame on that mean border lady. I will be praying that you have a much better behaved border person on the way back. I'll miss your blog if you take a break but I understand! Remember Jesus has got your back! :)

Melissa said...

I am so sorry. I will pray for you. How frustrating...

Rona's Home Page said...

I'm so sorry Mandi. And here I am getting upset about my crummy relationship with my employer.
I'll be praying for you and your husband.
Please don't stop blogging. I want to know how you're doing.
Of course, I'm also a FB follower.

Heather@PixieDust said...

Please come over to my blog to accept your beautiful blogger award.

http://pixiedustparties.blogspot.com/2010/04/blog-award.html

The rules of the award are to share ten things about yourself and pass on the award to ten other bloggers.

<3 Heather

Blaveta said...

I am so very sorry to hear that you and your dear husband are going through this ordeal. Having to leave your home and your husband must be so hard for you. I can't even begin to imagine.

But I also believe that God will tend to your marriage, making it stronger and bringing you and your husband closer together. All of these trials and tribulations we go through in life can only give us more strength, even though it surely doesn't feel like that at the time.

I'll keep you and your husband in my prayers. Let's hope that you are reunited very, very soon.

KK said...

If you have any friends in the state with any Government connection, I'd start working it on this end. I wouldn't rely too much on luck! Contact the state Governor & Senators. Call the State Department. Someone should be able to help you at least obtain a temporary solution--enough to hopefully get you home. So very sorry to hear of your forced separation.

Lisa said...

I'm sooo sorry to hear about your situation. That's terrible. I had no idea what a process getting a visa was. I am in Ontario as well. I wish I could help you!
Lisa

Tracy's Trinkets and Treasures said...

Oh wow. I just read what is going on in your life. That is just terrible. I will say a prayer that you get a gaurd in a good mood and all goes as well as possible. Keep in touch and if you need to vent I will lend an ear.

Elisabeth said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this trial you're going through. What is wrong with these governments?! It's not like you're trying to get back into Iran or something!! I thought US and Canada were friendly and practically interchangeable? Guess not. Anyway, I hope it all works out well and quickly, and I really admire your faith.
Elisabeth

Elizabeth (blue clear sky) said...

I know rules and timelines are there for a reason but I think it is terrible that one cranky person can cause so much stress. I don't think one employee should not have that much authority. I'm so sorry it happened to you but I was happy to read your mom's comment. I too pray that this will go quickly and you will be back with hubby soon.

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